I didn't blog yesterday. I think that's a fair way to put it. I'm not too keen on the term blog, but it's a useful word, nice and short, and has a pretty specific meaning. There's a lot going on right now. Yesterday ... well lets go back to Monday night after I blogged...
Monday night I had a binge just before bed. I can't remember what I ate, but I think that was when I finised off the dates that I had, finished off the bread that I had, and then still had the apple. Which was very comforting. The other stuff was trying to make myself feel better, or something, the apple just gave me some focus. I've started eating apples (one a day usually) just before bed. It's become part of my ritual for going to bed. It means not going to bed hungry, but still not giving in to the desire to eat a lot at that time of day. An apple is just the perfect size. Take the sticker off, wash in cold water (don't want to warm the apple up), take my meds, eat my apple, journal, go to bed. Something like that. Oh, there's tea in there as well.
Now to yesterday. I went to Salmo to watch the movie that I am in for the second time. It's called Stigma Stories, it's about stigma, based on personal experience with stigma. My mum and dad got to see it this time. They seemed to like it. I found it very powerful, and very difficult. I want to be able to watch it at least one more time. I probably will. I really found it dificult to watch. It brought up a lot of pain for me. Not quite as much as I'm going through right now.
Speaking of right now, I'm really going through a lot tomorrow I'm going to meet with Robin and Deb, Robin is the dissability worker at Selkirk College, Deb is the current program co-ordinater of the Social Service Worker Program at Selkirk College. This is going to be difficult for me. What am I going to do now to deal with it? Eat, and go for a walk with a fresh roll of film in my camera. I'll probably post again later. I know I'll post pretty soon after I meet with Deb and Robin.
Oh, one more thing, I'm going to an overeaters anonymous meeting this evening. That's going to be my first meeting. I'll see how it goes. I'm not so sure about the 12 step process though. But the support probably is a good thing.
Jessica
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I was late, but there were only the two of us there. It was good. Got some material. I'll be going through it. Also wanting to go through some material for the Open House series that's on right now. I think I should still have time for other stuff as well. But that puts three books on my ``to be read'' list right now. We'll see. I have to find The Myth of Freedom and Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism
Jessica
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