Sleeping, normal stuff, eating, and homework

OK, so it's not a great title. I just wanted to put some stuff in here for today. I don't really know why. It seems like I really have a lot to say. Maybe saying some of the stuff publicly will help me. Which brings up something that I want to comment on. I was looking at Jessica's blog last night. I was really impressed, then I got thinking, ``How come she has all these friends, and I don't seem to have any''. Then I started wondering if she put anywhere near as much effort into friendships as I do, and then I realised that simply wasn't possible. I have no friends that make time for me, or just want me to make time for them, yet I work so hard on those relationships. Maybe I'm working too hard. Then I got talking to Robin who I really am not sure what our relationship is, beyond the proffessional one I have. Is she a friend? Is she more than an aquaintance? I think I can say safely that relationship wise that is true. But would I call her a friend? I really don't know. Maybe I have too high standards for who my friends are. Maybe not. To me a friend is someone who returns a significant amount of what I give them. I know that I can't expect people to put as much time and effort into their relationship with me, as I do with them. That would be like people who really have a hard time with school expecting me to put in the same amount of effort as they do on school work. I worked with a group last term that was really challanging, then I realised that one person was working on something for 3 hours that would have taken me 15 minutes to do. She did a great job, but probably no better a job than I would have done in 15 minutes. Maybe not even as good a job. But for that assignment we aced it, so I can't complain. Well I can. Like I complain about the 2.2 out of 2 that I keep getting in psychology (hopefully will be able to tell you what my final mark is by Monday or Tuesday). I can complain about just about anything.

Which gets me to a complaint. That was all flow of conciousness, and I should be happy that I'm expressing myself clearly, but no, I say ``must be paragraphed'', but I also say ``must keep the orriginal format''. So I'll stick with that. And stick with my black and white thinking, and that if I switch back and forth quickly enough I might just get a rainbow.

Stuff. Today. Well lets start with last night. Got to bed around 22:30 I think, got up around 11:30. That sounds like 13 hours of sleep, but I know I didn't sleep that whole time, but it sure felt like it, and it felt great. Except that I still had problems with getting up at that time. I had to go to the food cupboard for 12:00 so I had to get up at that time.

The food cupboard got flooded on Tuesday, and it was setup in a temporary location right at the entrance way of the church that it was in. Crowded little space, stressfull little space. I got through. I didn't blow up. I didn't even blow in. I just got stressed, got through it. It worked out fairly well.

As we were giving out food, someone brought in 3 big boxes of almost entirely mustard greens. And we won't be open on Monday as we'll be setting up for Wednesday on Monday, as we do have to get things together for that. Normally we'd be setting up on Thursday for Monday, and likewise through the week. But we can't get stuff into the old space until Monday at the earliest. So we won't be there giving out food until Wednesday. And I'm going into tiny details, probably confusing people. The thing is, we got these three boxes of mustard greens that we had to deal with today or throw in the compost. Then it came down to me to push them, and get people to get as much as they can handle. I didn't do a great job, we only got rid of a little over one box. The other two? Came to my building after we finished for the day. One to be distributed ``upstairs'' to the main tennents, one to go to Stepping Stones, the short term/transitional housing.

Then I went for a nice walk up to Silver King campus of Selkirk College. I was meeting Robin. We talked about a number of things, including the whole Esperanto thing, the eating thing, etcetera. Speaking of the eating thing, I managed to get a nutrition bar, and some sesame things into me before I got home. Then I saw I had a small chunk of brie in my fridge, and ate that, along with some crackers. Then I went to Silver King. Talking with Robin we talked about my whole ambigious type thing that is going on with me. My not wanting to define myself as either this, or that, but trying to be honest, and say what it is that is really going on. The whole binary system thing really bothers me, especially the whole binary gender system. Come on, the kid's only 9 days old, why can't you just accept the kid as a kid, and not have to impose a binary gender system on hir.

Again more stream of conciousness. The child/baby I'm refering to was one of the clients at the food cupboard today. Everyone wanted to know if this baby was a boy or a girl. I on the other hand was offended that they couldn't just accept the child as a child, and forget about the whole gender thing. This diffrence with me and ``the rest of the world'' I think is maybe too much for some people. Then I also got the sense that people are maybe over respecting my need for privacy. There's one person who lets herself into my life without needing an express invitation. She mostly respects my need for solitude. I think she tends to be pretty solitary herself at times.

So on with my non-linear reality. My brain doesn't work that way, so well if you want to read my thoughts, you'll have to realise that my reality isn't nescesarily linear. I came down, grabbed some mustard greens and did a bunch of stuff before starting them simmering in the pot on the stove. An hour and a half and they were done to perfection. I then got them out of the pot (leaving the liquid behind) and blended them to make a soup. I had some of that soup (with added worchestershire sauce, tobasco, and brags soy seasoning), then realised it needed a bit more modification so started adding a can of diced tomatoes a bit at a time while I was eating. The end result is in the fridge, along with 6 cups of the broth that was part of the intention of the whole process.

And that gets us to homework. I got my assignment in tonight. About 22:55 which was really nice, more than an hour before midnight. Almost exactly when I thought that I'd be done, when I was starting the whole thing. So, hey, I'm good with time management. At least in terms of estimating how long something will take, and being fairly accurate with it. I tend to over estimate time, or more over state how long I think it will take. I like to add a ``fudge factor'' of some amount when I'm telling people when I'll be there. I'd rather not be rushed.

That pretty much is my day, and I need to get some sleep. I have that lovely exam tomorrow. I hope it goes as well, or maybe even better than the previous exams. The last one I dropped a bit. No big deal. Still in the range I want to be. So that's good.

Jessica